Whats the point?

Hey, sorry if i do something wrong and spell like shit. This is my first post and english is my second languadge. ohh and im 17 btw

For as long as i can remember, i have been depressed, its come inn billows through the years.

Its all started with there being alot of disorder at home and a lot off chaos, then at school ive always felt alone and diffrent, because of my immigrant patrimony, a disease i was born with, and my cripple social anxiety.

But ive always managed and come through daytime to daytime animation as a robot, exactly doing as im told then shutting myself in my office. To not digest you with my life story ill skip forward a bit to when id precisely turned 16. At 16 i lastly decided to lose weight. all be it in a not so healthy mode, so precisely over my 2 months of summer divulge “id lost” 25 kilos, But then when i started high school my anxiety started getting much worse, so i tok a gap year, and through this year, a lot of things happened. I continued with my crazy diet while also starting to go to the gym and i started to get more and more depressed i likewise noticed that i had started to lose hair, and i wish i could say this is because i dont eat much but my papa has told me he began losing hair at approximately the same time. So ive been thinking, WHATS THE POINT?

I have starved myself and taught like a psychopath for about a year now, in the purpose of applying eventually coming some confidence and just as i got close to my goal the universe makes me with pretty bad hair loss.

And ive been thinkin, whats the station of it all, i spewed my body and soul into one single thing and this is what i get? I actully feel worse now and i feel my feeling act upp much more frequently now that this has happened. frankly ive been thinking alot about really pointing it eventually, im precisely additional burdens for my familiy and communities inn general. you might think im jumping to conclusions, thats fair( eventhough there is a lot more that i didnt writte about since i dont want to bore you guys more than i alreddy am)

to be honest the only reason i havent offed myself is because i cant muster upp the courage and im afraid my mummy will over react.

P.S im really sorry for the spelling and the long text.

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