So I realize that no one can diagnose me, and I said here today that I am in regiman for other issues … but does anyone consideration I might have anorexia?
So, I’m overweight. Have been most of my life – but I’m also severely shock and depressed over it. When I was 16( 35 now ), i began to starve myself and practise to excess, because i detested my mas. Long legend short-lived, I lost a significant amount of weight but was never “thin, ” and developed a number of health problems that moored me at a analyst and other doctors. I tried to tell him about my eating habits, and he laughter and “ve been told” that 1) “men don’t come eating disorder, ” and 2) “you’re still overweight, only if you become underweight can you have an eating disorder.” This both depressed me – because I had been working so hard, but the world – even a therapist- still discovered me as fatty – but too caused me to push myself harder. I felt i was immune to eating disorders because I could never actually be thin fairly , no matter how hard I tried. The analyst procured this out, and diagnosed me with psychosis, saying that I “delusionally believed that, even if I stopped snacking, I’d never lose weight.” He wasn’t wrong, as I had ceased to eating completely and conceived I has gone far enough fat on me to never have to eat again, but I also think he kind of missed the object: I was eating at most 500 calories per daytime and was spending at least two hours a day doing cardio( not to mention I queried around about buying cocaine since I heard it’s an effective weight loss drug ).
Moving on from this incident, weight loss has haunted me ever since: I got very depressed after this and ended up gaining a significant amount of weight( depressed orgy feeing ), and I hate my body so much I don’t like to look in reflects or have other beings verify me. I’ve been on diet after food, and often period I exclusively feel attained or glad if my stomach is empty. Recently, I’ve started earnestly trying to lose weight again, and all of these old “habits” have come back( I’m startled to eat in front of beings, I find myself affirming thirst even if my belly is in actual agony, if I do eat it is in secret where no one can see me, if I don’t practise to the point of ended fold I feel like a disappointment, and many other things ).
So I guess my question is, does anyone here belief I might have an eating disorder, even though I’m overweight? Or am I really a solid guy going through the normal fights of weight loss?
P.S. There’s a lot more details than what I’ve shared now, including variou attempts to get bariatric surgery but being turned away due to not being heavy fairly, my close friends telling me they are concerned about my eating garbs, etc. but I wanted to share the most pertinent details. I’ve too never shared this with my healer, as I definitely sounds like there’s no real need to “get help” unless I was thin and in the area of health danger.
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